It Girl: Finnian Lyon
Finnian Lyon, friend of the radio and manager of (Sub)Mercer, is no stranger to the post-10pm scene. On a luxury building roof, secured by a generous covid discount, we discuss banning nightlife photographers, Limp Bizkit in the club, and (a little) more.
Hi, my name is Finnian I'm 26 years old. I live in West Village. I manage a nightclub. I'm also a writer on Substack.
What’s the recipe for a great night out?
I've never planned a great night out. A great night out is something that just happens on the dome. You're out. You meet a couple people. All of a sudden it's like 6 a.m. and you're in some random guy's apartment in the East Village, and you have no idea what's going on. And, oh, don't expect bus or hold that thought.
What would you remove from New York?
We should erase club photographers. Why do they know too much? I don't want any proof that I've been out. If I've been out. No I haven't. Salute.
What song makes you run to the dance floor?
Break stuff by limp bizkit If I'm in the club and someone's playing Limp Bizkit, I'm going ham. I'm literally insane. I will go hard for that song. I ride or die for that song, Windowlicker. I swear to God, when I'm on the dance floor, I'm on the floor shaking it violently, offensively.
What about Steely Dan in the club?
I can get a little fucked up to Steely Dan. I don't know if I'm shaking ass. I'm pulling in a partner I've never met before. I'm falling in love all over again. Play old music in the club. If I listen to sexy Red one more time, I swear to God the club is for Y2K recession music like a G6 should be on in the club. Every time I walk out, we were needing that vibe and the musicians brought it. Like Mr. Saxobeat might have saved my family's life from the housing recession.
What former child star would you grab dinner with?
Well, I don't watch television, so I don't know a child. I grew up super religious. I did not watch movies like that. The Hasidic to the club pipeline.
Oh, Uncle Moishy went so fucking hard. I was like six years old and he was singing shaman. I was like, oh my God.
What’s the sluttiest profession a man can have?
Singer in a band. That's a slut. He could be my slut though. I'm thinking about it.
Sluttiest Genre?
Indie rock. That man knows how to sing and scares me. He knows too much. Why is he so romantic? Whats he know? Tell me.
Least?
If he raps, it's over. If I hear an inkling of someone trying to freestyle on a beat I'm not horny anymore. It's gone. The love in my eyes leaves I drain as a person I become a snake. Have you ever seen a man in the studio trying to rap without the background music on? When it's not hard as fuck and you're watching it be hard as fuck.
It's just a guy talking really fast and really loud and cursing. If I wanted that, I'd go home.
If you faked your death, where would you go?
I'm going to Lisbon. Lisboa. I'd be with my fucking self because I'd be having to fake being dead. Angel, I'm so sorry. I'd be dead. Not only would I be in Portugal, just like living my best life, I would be an entirely different person.
I'm that person in Lisbon, selling you drugs on the corner and just screaming cocaine. They can just, like, sell drugs on the corner.
Have you never been to Lisbon? This guy is going to have fun in Lisbon. If you see him booking a flight, know that that's why he's going. When I was in Lisbon, every fucking corner had a guy being like, you wanna buy some cocaine? You want some ket? I didn't do it. But I'm single now, so I can try. Lisboa. I'm coming back for you, baby.
Honest thoughts on Taylor Swift?
I don't know, she's like a pretty little white woman. She is doing this for real. She's probably a very actually talented person. I think there's money behind it, but also there's talent, and I respect that.
Where does she rank amongst white women?
Oh, peak white woman out of ten. Like the level of great white woman. If the scale starts out like, what's a really bad white woman ghislaine maxwell? Is like the worst white woman and the best white woman being like Kamala Harris's daughter, Diana She's like a five. She says, that's my white woman. Vote Kamala.
Mystery or Authenticity: Which is cooler?
And I would hate, no matter who, you should be authentic in the way that you're oversharing about stuff that like, really doesn't matter and you should be mysterious in the way that nobody actually knows the deep rooted traumas in your life.
It's really the best of both worlds here. You should be in the club screaming to the person next to you why you have trauma when it comes to men, but they should never know, like the intricacy of that. But then you should also tell them that you're in love with them, but you should never actually follow up. Yeah, no, you should love bombing strangers.
Just start love bombing people. If you don't know them, that's even better. Just sell them a dream. If I wake up, your name is in my phone and I didn't save the number like I'm deleting it.
Thoughts on dudes in Patagonia vests?
Take a photo of my eye roll. Whatever. You're like a slave to your boss. That's fine. That's chill. You chose that life. I'm happy. You're happy. You live in a flex like one bedroom in FIDI I'm not intimidated.
Sunglasses in the club?
Yes, 100%. I have this trick where I put my sunglasses on so my best friend doesn't know I'm looking at her tits. Even though I'm looking directly at them. Like eye level. Like tit to eye level if you're looking cool.
But also if you do a lot of drugs, maybe you should hide the fact that your pupils are as big as a dinner plate. I don't do drugs. Controversial statement, but I really don't. Hypothetically, I would love to try cocaine. I'm afraid to try cocaine because I don't know what the fuck is in that anymore.
If this was 2010, I would have done cocaine already. Now it's like, what the fuck are you doing? Pink Coke! It’s just for girls.
What’s the last song you were listening to?
The last song I was listening to was Temperature by Sean Paul. You know what? That still slaps. I need a Latin man to tell me what to do. That's why I listen to Sean Paul.
Self Plug
Hi guys.
I'm on Substack if you want to read about things completely unrelated to this and a little bit better. Finnian Lyon on Substack. That's how you pronounce it. It's not Finnian Lion. I'm so sorry to people who have been pronouncing it as Lion, I talk about love and grief in Manhattan and fashion and being a loser.
Enjoy. Don't follow me on Instagram. Don't follow me on Twitter. Find me in the club when I post that I'm there in real time on Instagram Stories and scare me. That's it bye. I had so much fun. They totally didn't have a gun to my head the entire time. If you're watching this, please call 911.
By: Jesse Cabble, Toma Shade & Carter Houck
Photography by: Elsbeth Supplee
Video Editing by: Carter Houck
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