Your Mate’s Ex Interview
Your Mate’s Ex is a great time and keeps us dancing.
Your Mate’s Ex is exactly what it sounds like. (A band) comprised of Josh, and his mates ex, Joey. Operating out of Manchester, the two draw on their city’s rich dance culture, both sonically and visually. Their tracks instantly hooked us upon hearing it in the clubs, so it’s fitting that they join us this week in a Conversation About Nothing.
Who is Your Mate’s Ex?
Josh: Well, it’s me, Josh, and Joey. We used to be a three-piece and now it’s just the two of us, which works better for us. It’s nice to keep it simple.
Joey: We met through a friend. I’m basically someone’s mate’s ex, and we thought it’d be funny because we knew he’d see that we’re in a band together. We were like, should we just call it Your Mate’s Ex? Because then he’s like, why is someone hanging out with my ex?
NR: That’s funny because our next question was going to be, “Are there any mates’ exes you want to shout out?” But you’re the mate’s ex.
Josh: Yeah, it’s Joey. She’s the mate’s ex.
What's your Life Story in One Sentence?
Josh: Get wet, reset, do it again.
Joey: Oh god, I should have thought of an answer for this one because now I have to do it. Can you [Josh] do one for me?
Josh: No, because I still want to be friends.
Joey: In America, do you understand the concept of a raw girl?
NR: No, what’s that?
Joey: A rah girl is a girl our age… I don’t know, it’s almost a derogatory term for a girl who’s a bit posh. Actually, do you know the word posh in America?
NR: Yeah, of course.
Joey: Yeah, maybe it’s just rah girl self-hatred.
Josh: Yeah, fair. I’m glad that didn’t come out with that one.
Joey: Yeah, something like that, or a southern girl up north.
Josh: Yeah, that’s better — a lonesome wonder, a lonesome wonder.
Joey: That’s a bit too poetic, I think…
Describe Manchester’s dance/underground scene and how it has (or hasn’t) shaped your sound.
Josh: Manchester’s always had a very rich musical heritage. Late 80s acid house definitely left an imprint on the music we make, but even more current, there are places like The White Hotel and Hidden that are flying the flag for new and underground house and electronic music. There’s a lot happening right now, and I’ve had otherworldly experiences in a lot of the clubs, which have definitely inspired me. And that sense of unity on the dance floor in Manchester is beautiful and inspires me as well.
Joey: Do you know much about Hacienda?
NR: Only heard the name but don’t know.
Josh: Okay, so the Hacienda is where, in the late 80s, the music coming in from Chicago and Detroit, the electronic music being made, was generally played. It’s where the second Summer of Love happened, and this revolution in nightlife, taking ecstasy, and acid house was born. Very much through Manchester via America, really. But yeah, it happened in Manchester.
Joey: Yeah, like legends partied. Didn’t Madonna party?
Josh: Yeah, prime, and everyone big in the late 80s, early 90s.
Joey: But a lot of club culture in Manchester is going through a bit of a shift, because there was a phase of mainstream nightclubs just not being very good, and a lot of the better parties were in warehouse venues and smaller venues. But there’s a club that just opened called Ambers, which is cool because their tickets are always like five pounds, and they don’t release the lineup of which DJ is playing — it’s just a vague explanation of the genre. And it’s also the only club in Manchester, I think, that has a really strict no-phones policy, because that’s one of the main things killing club culture in general. People, especially young people, are scared of getting filmed if they’re drunk or fucked up or just having a good time.
Josh: Yeah, it’s going through a shift, and the best nights I’ve had have always been in the smaller venues. There’s a huge venue here called Warehouse Project in an old train depot that’s where all the big raves and parties with massive DJs happen. But the best stuff I’ve been to has been in the grassroots venues and student basements.
It’s the people here and the creatives here that make the best dancing. I think they’re trying to reconnect that to mainstream culture at the minute trying to recreate it or monetize it, maybe. I don’t know if that makes sense. But yeah, it’s definitely going through a shift. People are getting back into that sense of community on the dance floor and being present in the moment, enjoying it with their mates rather than thinking about putting it on Instagram.
How did your individual musical paths lead to this duo?
Joey: I went to uni for film and I wanted to be a screenwriter. I have some musical background. I played guitar and piano when I was younger. It’s been less about music and more about writing or having something to say or putting words together. When we first came together out of curiosity about making music, I met Josh who produced music and it was really sick. You played some for me and I was like, let’s see what we can put together. I weirdly think some of my influence is from old school hip hop and the rhythms and words. I didn’t expect to be making music, but now that we are it makes a lot of sense for me and for both of us.
Josh: It was the drummer we had. I used to be in a band with him before this project which was kind of like electronic disco, and that broke apart. Then I was on my own with COVID as well. So I started producing a lot more electronic stuff and then met you [Joey] at an afters.
Joey: Yeah, about four in the morning was the first time we met. I was drinking a white Monster or something like that. When you meet someone at four in the morning you’re like, oh my god we should make music and then it never happens. For me it was months after that moment that I had another moment and was like, fuck it should we actually try getting together and making something. It was a 4 am plan for a bit and then we actually did it.
Josh: And then that happened and the first session we just finished the track. It was fire. We were all running on our cylinders. It was sick. Eventually we were like, shit this is good, you know what I mean.
Joey: It was Softboi, the first song we made, and it was nice making music with two guys who were happy for me to be shitting on some guy on the track.
Josh: There was a moment when you were writing and I was like, is this about us.
Joey: No. My inspiration comes from films and TV shows because I studied film.
Josh: You can hear it more now. We just finished an EP and Joey’s lyricism is very visual, painting a picture and telling a story. Even more so than in the past. I feel like we are both growing into our roles in this project.
What’s a source of inspiration for you both?
Joey: In terms of influences, when we first started making music we talked about Confidence Man and early Calvin Harris.
Josh: For me, listening to music is my biggest source of inspiration. Just putting on something, it could be anything really. Generally electronic music, and that’s a new realization. I didn’t realize how inspired I get from listening to music. I had a phase where I was producing so much that I didn’t want to listen to music when I wasn’t making music. I suppose it’s like a chef when they come home from work, they don’t want to cook a meal. So I didn’t listen to much music for a while and I felt like I was missing something. Then I started listening to music again and it clicked. Now if I have a lull, all I have to do is listen to something, probably something new or something I haven’t heard in ages, and I feel that fire starting to burn again.
Joey: We’ve been playing each other a lot of music recently. I used to listen to a lot of Peaches and Uffie and that kind of stuff, which has helped direct sound. A lot of mine comes from being someone who uses my notes app extensively. Any thought in my head goes in there.
So when we’re sitting down writing, I’ll look through and see what thoughts I’ve had recently. I’ll be like, I like this metaphor, I like this observation, I like this idea. I like stories and narratives. There is a German film called Run Lola Run, and you’ll recognize it because the woman in it has red hair. It’s basically the same plot three times and things go slightly different each time. It’s a bit like The Butterfly Effect, but the soundtrack is 90s Berlin techno.
That kind of stuff helps me think visually, and when you create almost like a film you can put yourself there.
On a more visual note, what is the process/inspiration going behind those?
Josh: Yeah, that’s all Joey.
Get Wet - Your Mate’s Ex
Joey: I have a vague arts background. I take inspiration from a lot of things, and recently it’s been varied. There is a photographer called Martin Parr. He became famous for taking photos of things that were slightly ugly, or humorous, or weird. He did a series of photos in Blackpool, which is a really shitty beach town, kind of tacky with rides and stuff. His visuals were things that were a bit weird or slightly ugly, slightly messy. He did lots of close-up pictures of food, really bright and colorful and quite beautiful.
Oh God, fashion magazines from the noughties and old designs, a bit surreal and strange. We went to see the Leigh Bowery exhibition in London. He was a designer who made weird, crazy outfits and outrageous things. I like lots of different stuff.
Josh: You take a lot of inspiration from magazines from the 90s like The Face.
Joey: Yeah, The Face exhibition.
Nothing Radio: The Face Magazine? They had an exhibition?
Joey: Yeah, it was all their old celebrity photos and prints. It was really cool. I have the book in the other room, and you’ll understand where the inspiration came from for the Get Wet picture because the woman on the front has blue eye shadow and a red lip and I was like, I like that. It was a great exhibition. They had the Kurt Cobain picture where he was in the dress, great portraits, and lots of Juergen Teller’s work.
All Now, All Night — Your Mate’s Ex
I like it to be a bit editorial but also a little homemade. I spent time on Tumblr when I was 16, so I like the homemade editorial vibe.
Josh: It’s like smart casual.
Joey: Yeah, like smart casual for the photography world. Josh is a good help sometimes because I’ll say I’m going to put on a full face of makeup and press my face against the glass in the shower and he’ll take photos of that and be like, yeah. There was one that was a bit more pornographic. I had more of an orgasmic face on, but I thought the humor worked better with the song.
Josh: Well, we’ve kept the other one for the EP cover.
Joey: Yeah, potentially.
Favorite Place to Dance?
Josh: Well, I favor a field with my friends when the sun is setting. That to me is the perfect setting for a good time. Everything is in full swing, the sun is going down, you look around, everyone is smiling, the beats are rolling.
Nothing Radio: Is there music playing or just the sound of the wind?
Josh: No, at a festival or something. I tend to like the smaller festivals rather than the big ones here. There are some really cool intimate festivals in the UK. They are definitely a highlight for me. If I’m indoors, probably a club called Hidden in Manchester. The sound system there is unbelievable and the vibe is beautiful. That is probably my favorite Manchester club.
Joey: There is a place called White Hotel where you end up making friends in the smoking area and having late nights. Our first ever gig was at White Hotel where we supported a band called Night Bus. It was really sick. It is the only time I have ever seen it before 2 AM.
Josh: That place gives me the creeps. I leave at like 8 in the morning and you come outside and it is light and it gives me shivers sometimes, but it is a great place.
Nothing Radio: What time do clubs close there?
Josh: White Hotel will go until six. I have hung around before and ended up coming out a few hours later.
Joey: It depends on the venue. White Hotel and the DBA both stay open until 6 AM. I used to live on Canal Street, which is the gay village in Manchester, and there used to be a club down there that closed at 10 AM. I used to hear people coming out all night. It was wild. Everyone in their post 4 AM, you look around and you’re like oh no.
Josh: Yeah, it’s off. But White Hotel is good. It is probably the closest you get to a Berlin club experience in the UK. Manchester brings a great line of DJs and attracts a lot of good names. White Hotel brings something different. It is always a bit of a journey and something you have not experienced before. You kind of know what you are going to get at some of the other places, even though they’re great, but White Hotel throws it in a different direction.
Joey: We went to Pikes recently, which was really cool. It is a historic venue and the vibes were really nice.
Any Plans to Visit New York in the Near Future?
Josh: We do actually, yeah.
Joey: It’s funny because when we read you asked “Are you coming to New York,” it was the day after we were saying we should probably go on a trip to New York, like a “business trip.”
Josh: We have, thanks to Orson and whatever else is going on there, some sort of following. We’ve got a lot of listeners in New York, which is sick, so hopefully we might be able to get over and gig next year. It looks like it might be possible. Orson said he’s gonna help us out, so yeah, you have to take us around the spots.
NR: ABSOLUTELY. WE’D LOVE TO GET INTO SOME DEBAUCHERY WITH YOU GUYS.
Last Song you were listening to (with proof):
Josh: Proof? Well, okay. I was listening to Todd Edwards Wishing I Were Home. It is the embryonic stage of garage music. I think it’s from 1997. Unbelievable track, unbelievable. I think it’s built over 22 samples or something, which I was quite surprised about. He’s just got a knack for putting things together, and I don’t know if he gets the appreciation he deserves for his importance in electronic music, but yeah, an unbelievable track.
The structure is so strange for a track like that because it has very clear A, B, C sections, whereas generally electronic music will just have a repetitive idea and build on that. The clear structures in this track are cool. I think it’s quite daring of him to do that, but maybe that was because it was early and it hadn’t been done before, so there wasn’t a formula to follow. But yeah, wicked track. Love it.
Joey: I think I was just showing this to you, but it’s like a club remix cover of a Lana Del Rey song. She’s called Jamythyst or something. I’ve seen her on TikTok, and she makes absolutely banging covers of Del Rey songs.
Josh: Just exclusively Lana Del Rey remixes. That’s quite a niche, isn’t it?
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